He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
