erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
