she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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