; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
