Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize