What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
