I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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