I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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