I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
