a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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