Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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