After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
