i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize