my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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