she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
