After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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