Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
