Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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