wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
