Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
