would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
