The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You need Xanax blowdarts
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
