You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
