It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize