Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
