When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
