It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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