Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
