I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Boobs speak an international language.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
