dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My bed smells like the plague
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
