What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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