So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
