Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
