she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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