So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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