So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
