Is it normal to miss your booty call?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
