Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
