so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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