its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
