Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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