I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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