i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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