I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
