i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
