i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
