Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
