Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
