Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
