Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
