Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
