and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
