shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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