my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize