your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
