He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
