I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
