I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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