Don't make out with my wife yet
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize