yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
