stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
