if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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