tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Someone came in the potted fern
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
